Drinking Quotes
517 quotes
"I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom."
"Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I goTo heal my heart and drown my woeRain may fall, and wind may blowAnd many miles be still to goBut under a tall tree will I lieAnd let the clouds go sailing by"
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria."
"I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host."
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
"Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them."
"There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."
"We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail."
"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
"Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."
"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
"Beer has that Olympic medal color,” Rot replied, “but does it have a winning taste? I’d hardly call silver a champion flavor. No, I’ll stick to my red wine."
"I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless."
"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"
"I drank her essence, and it’s like she never existed and now I’m thirsty again. Let this be a lesson in love."
"She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it's there, because it can't hurt, and because what difference does it make?"
"I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance."
"Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!"
"Snow is not microwave friendly. In fact, snow is not too friendly at all, unless you first buy it a few beers. Then it’s just downright slutty."
"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."
"I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer."
"The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."
"Love is something to be treated with awe. Or should it be aww? People don’t know my capacity for love. If you tried to bottle it up, I’m sure it would take at least three thermoses to contain it. And if it did get contained, would you drink my love black, or would you add cream and sugar?"
"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."
"I have liquid lips, and my kisses are smooth as wine. Why pour you a glass when you can drink from the bottle?"
"I dance so fluid you’d think I’m a fish. I don’t need to drink to be able to dance—I am the drink. Have a sip and find out for yourself."
"I used the boos, and not the booze, as motivation. That led to applause, which I drank up like an alcoholic. I need a refill."
"Networking is drinking the nectar of interconnectedness. And I’ve been drinking since noon, so I may need @ryanlilly to drive me home."
"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."
"Go sip on gossip, and leave the coffee talk for me to chug. I’ll be in the kitchen, giggling like a schoolgirl if you need me."
"When it’s raining, instead of using an umbrella, try holding an empty drinking glass above your head. That’s exactly how I thirst for your love."
"The naked truth is anything but naked. But it will be soon enough, if I keep giving it alcohol."
"When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls."
"I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it."
"Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of “I’m listening."
"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"
"Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home."
"Relationships are like water. If you grab tight, clamping and clenching to gain control, you’ll lose it all. Instead, cup your hand gently, so she feels free to drink until her thirst is quenched."
"At church, during communion, they give out free wine. Whoa! Talk about a great place to drink and meet women."
"I coiled my empty straw wrapper around like a snake. Then I bit it before it could bite me. My love is as dangerous as my drinking habits."
"Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection with ten. You don’t want people to think you drink too much."
"Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large."
"I love when my cat crushes his forehead into mine like my skull is an empty beer can. But it’s not—there’s still a sip left."
"I'm about to get my grind on. My coffee grind. Like a true hustler."
"She likes her wine white, and that’s how I like my clam chowder. So chuggable!"
"My cup is full of air. I should empty it and fill it with love. Or coffee, as the two are synonymous to me."
"Ink is drinkable and printable. The words “I love you” don’t take up much space, but they can quench your thirst forever."
"Water can be as hard as ice and as soft as fog, which is why my love is so drinkable, because it is fluid and forgiving. It's easy to love until there's nothing left. Eventually, the water runs out, the ice melts, and the fog fades into an abyss.-Jarod Kintz and Karen Quan"
"My acquaintances aren’t worth the aqua I drink after they leave me thirsting for something more meaningful. I don’t want refillable relationships—I want connections so deep they are black abysses."
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