Dorothy Parker

80 quotes

"Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants."

Dorothy Parker

"That woman speaks eight languages and can't say no in any of them."

Dorothy Parker

"Excuse me, I have to use the toilet. Actually, I have to use the telephone, but I'm too embarrassed to say so."

Dorothy Parker

"He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery."

Dorothy Parker

"The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires."

Dorothy Parker

"Age before beauty; and pearls before swine."

Dorothy Parker

"If all the girls at Brandeis were laid end-to-end, I wouldn't be surprised."

Dorothy Parker

"I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid."

Dorothy Parker

"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."

Dorothy Parker

"Hell's afloat in lover's tears."

Dorothy Parker

"Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."

Dorothy Parker

"That would be a good thing for them to carve on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgement."

Dorothy Parker

"Age before beauty; and pearls before swine."

Dorothy Parker

"If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

Dorothy Parker

"Love is like quick-silver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away."

Dorothy Parker

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."

Dorothy Parker

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

Dorothy Parker

"Excuse me, I have to use the toilet. Actually, I have to use the telephone, but I'm too embarrassed to say so."

Dorothy Parker

"Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life."

Dorothy Parker

"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be a darling at it."

Dorothy Parker

"The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism."

Dorothy Parker

"They sicken of the calm who know the storm."

Dorothy Parker

"That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them."

Dorothy Parker

"The two most beautiful words in the English language are "check enclosed.""

Dorothy Parker

"This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force."

Dorothy Parker