Shit Quotes

"Life happens. Shit happens. And it happens a lot. To a lot of people."

Colleen Hoover

"I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit."

Mel Brooks

"When the shit hits the fan, you really have to ask yourself why you weren't sitting on the toilet."

Anthony T. Hincks

"It's easy to talk big, but the important thing is whether or not you clean up the shit."

Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

"I wonder either their God has turned old, sick or died, because even the religious people no more believe in shit."

M.F. Moonzajer

"Sometimes I act like I have my shit together more than I do. Sometimes I act like I don’t have my shit together as much as I do. I’m done acting. I’d rather just be okay with however together my shit is at the time, and still do my best to show up, as I am."

Scott Stabile

"What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless."

Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods

"What people these days watch!?...Nothing useful!Science proofs that people watch shit over and over and over and over and over and over."

Deyth Banger, 4 Hours

"A dung beetle couple in love constantly proves that you still can be in love living on shit."

Munia Khan

"There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you."

Anthony Liccione

"Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

"Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

"The shield wall reeks of shit, and all a man wants is to be home, to be anywhere but on this field that prepares for battle, but none of us will turn and run or else we will be despised for ever. We pretend we want to be there, and when the wall at last advances, step by step, and the heart is thumping fast as a bird’s wing beating, the world seems unreal."

Bernard Cornwell, The Flame Bearer

"Always follow your brain, because your heart is dumb as shit"

Steve Shook

"Folks love fantasy. Beasts the shit outta reality and day of the week."

Garth Ennis, The Boys, Volume 3: Good For The Soul

"Probably in your mind your shit is wise, but so far what I hear for me doesn't sound as a wise."

Deyth Banger

"You're a shit cake with cum for whipped cream and dynamite for candles."

Ahmed Mostafa

"I don't see anything other than pretensions and low mentality in women who make a man run after a hole that would soon be inhabited by termites and worms."

Michael Bassey Johnson

"You and I both know that love is for children,'' he said. ''We're adults. Compatibility is for adults.''''Compatibility is for my Bluetooth and my car,'' Teresa replied. ''Only they get along just fine, and my car never makes my bluetooth feel like shit."

Maggie Stiefvater, Sinner

"Trust me I know this shit, Don't fuck with me!"

Jim Jensen

"... If I wanna shit I am going to buy it from the shop... what I need now is a friend on which I can count on... you know the drill."

Deyth Banger

"We’re better together than we are apart. The American Dream has us looking out for ourselves even at the expense of our neighbors. That shit ain’t true, man."

Trevor D. Richardson, Dystopia Boy: The Unauthorized Files

"If you schlep a shit job everyday, keep and feed a little secret life--whether it's writing, art, running, music, your thoughts. It's yours."

Don Roff

"He is so rich, he has no room to shit."

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

"Plans change, Iktomi said. Got a plan that doesn’t require explosives.Are you confident in that? Mangas asked.I’m a god, Iktomi replied. I’m always confident.I’m a human, Mangas thought, and we know shit happens."

Brandon Nolta, Iron and Smoke

"Out of all the piles of dirt, garbage, and shit we have been handed, we can grow a patch of daisies."

Patti Feuereisen, Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse--A Book for Teen Girls, Young Women, and Everyone Who Cares About Them

"Many skills, as every successful entrepreneur knows, cannot be taught in school. They require doing. Sometimes a life of doing. And where money-making is concerned, nothing compresses the time frame needed to leap from my-shit-just-sits-there-until-it-rains poverty to which-of-my-toilets-shall-I-use affluence like an apprenticeship with someone who already has the angles all figured out."

Mohsin Hamid, How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia

"Sometimes I’m irrational, I know I am, but even irrational thought feels very, very real when you’re in the middle of shit."

Kim Holden, So Much More

"One of the few times in a man's life when he is not full of shit!!The morning of a colonoscopy. Enough said!"

Jim Lawrence

"If you hate it... you close it!If you can't do it... you don't do it...!...Don't try from shit to make gold!"

Deyth Banger

"Humans listen to their hearts so fucking loud that they mute their dumbass brains."

The Fart Blast

"Seropusly, why do flies line up in the sky every time someone lies? Hovering over they long to take the shit out from where It belongs so They compete to eat it alive."

Ana Claudia Antunes, ACross Tic

"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people’s faeces more disgusting than a bird’s droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

"Yeah, episodic doesn't work. Your coolest character needs something big and meaningful to do. Otherwise, well, it's just narrative shit."

Don Roff

"If you start to smell some of the shit, you start smelling all of the shit"

Doug Stanhope

"He has a mouth, lord," Gerbruht said."I envy him," I said."Envy him, lord?""Most of us have to lower our trews to shit."

Bernard Cornwell, The Flame Bearer

"Your shit is for you, my shit is for me - Understand?"

Deyth Banger

"If you look at the evolution of the brain, the logic centers, they were growing at the same time as the creative centers were expanding. And that creates this really potent illusion that you’re not just a bag of chemicals reacting to shit. Which is what you are."

Tim Cannon

"He smiled and as his lips parted, little bits of solid waste fell from them. Hellelujah, we can only be what we are, I thought and wondered if I was as repulsive to him as he was to me. I don't think so, because even though he literally wore a shit-eating grin, I sensed he was genuinely happy to see me"

R.E. Vance, Paradise Lot: GoneGodWorld - Episode Two

"I respect the shit out of you."

Brian Michael Bendis, Powers, Vol. 5: Anarchy

"Get me your manager.” Dove held her head high and tried to seem older and more self-assured. The teenager barely registered her request. “Do it now. My friend here is about to crap his pants. Do you want to smell it?” Dove slapped her hands down on the counter, snapping the life into the girl. “Do you want to smell his shit?"

Debra Anastasia, Fire in the Hole

"50 Zen, read shit.... BECOME MASTER!"

Deyth Banger

"Very clever but dumb at shoothing... dumb as a person but clever at shooting. That's LOGIC!"

Deyth Banger, Reddit Collection

"As much deeper you go as much more shit you find down there. But what happens with you?"

Deyth Banger

"I knew I was in deep shit. I didn’t know how deep—just that I still hadn’t touched bottom."

Sol Luckman, Beginner's Luke

"I forget your name," I said."Most people spew shit from their arse," he retorted, "you manage it with your mouth.""Your mother gave birth through her arse," I said, "and you still reek of her shit."

Bernard Cornwell, The Flame Bearer

"Sim sighed. "like Ross always said: Wish in one hand,shit in the other,and see which hand fills up first."

Keith Gray, Ostrich Boys

"My stomach hurts, but if it's guilt or impacted stool, I can't tell. Either way, I'm so full of shit."

Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Showing 50 of 56 quotes