Josh Stern, And That's Why I'm Single: What Good Is Having A Lucky Horseshoe Up Your Butt When The Horse Is Still Attached?
43 quotes
"True ambition is trying to paint yourself out of a corner"
"Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth"
"The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard"
"Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs"
"If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane"
"Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable"
"In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips?"
"Manners without sincerity, is called polite society"
"Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity"
"Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack"
"If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?"
"Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling"
"If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway"
"Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy"
"Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette"
"An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet"
"Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what"
"If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse"
"Never be paralyzed by fear, just by falling off a cliff"
"Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert"
"To err is human, to accept full responsibility is to just run with it"
"Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity"
"If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried"
"Maturity is when you no longer get the urge to make snow angels in mud season"
"It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late"