Tom Quotes

"Do you want this to be a love story?"

Jenny Downham

"They're lacking in criminal credibility, ain't they? I might get laughed at."

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

"There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses."

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

"[Holding Michael Jackson outside of a window] How do you like it?"

Scary Movie 3

"Oh, I don't know, Charlie. Unlike you, I never expected "the thunderbolt." I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that."

Four Weddings and a Funeral

"The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you."

Four Weddings and a Funeral

"All I've got is my kids, and my car. They mean the world to me. [slams Rachel's head in car door.]"

Scary Movie 4

"Gee, I wonder why I spend every waking moment of my life operating a crane... God, I hate my job. [starts playing with a crane machine]"

Scary Movie 4

"[After finding Michael Jackson with a group of children] Run away, kids! Run TOWARDS the Tri-pods if you have to!"

Scary Movie 4

"[drunk] One, for the money. [hiccups] Two, for the show. [hiccups] Three to get ready. [hiccups] And four to go!"

Part Time Pal

"Kevin had been born to make love to a man, the same way I had."

Jenna Hilary Sinclair, Admit One

"Of course, in a novel, people’s hearts break, and they die, and that is the end of it; and in a story this is very convenient. But in real life we do not die when all that makes life bright dies to us. There is a most busy and important round of eating, drinking, dressing, walking, visiting, buying, selling, talking, reading, and all that makes up what is commonly called living, yet to be gone through…"

Harriet Beecher Stowe, Uncle Tom's Cabin

"I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife."

F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

"Every villain is a hero in his own mind."

Tom Hiddleston

"Tom said to himself that it was not such a hollow world, after all. He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it -- namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain."

Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

"I understand we'll be attending your friend Miss Worthington's Christmas ball. Perhaps I'll find a suitable-- which is to say wealthy-- wife among the ladies attending."And perhaps they will run screaming for the convent."

Libba Bray, Rebel Angels