Retort Quotes

"There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome.""And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.""And yours,"he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them."

Jane Austen

"I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-""It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule."

Shannon Hale

"It is never ridicule, but a compliment, that knocks a philosopher off his feet. He is already positioned for every possible counter-attack, counter-argument, and retort...only to find a big bear hug coming his way."

Criss Jami

"I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity."

George Carlin

"An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it."

Winston S. Churchill

"There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome.""And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.""And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them."

Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

"What--has O-Tar seen an ulsio and fainted?" demanded I-Gos with broad sarcasm."Men have died for less than that, ancient one," E-Thas reminded him."I am safe," retorted I-Gos, "for I am not a brave and popular son of the jeddak of Manator."

Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Chessmen of Mars

"I do not understand this man," [Tempi] said. "Is he attempting to buy sex with me? Or does he wish to fight?"

Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear

"(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts."

Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

"I don't care whose son he is. I won't go belly-up like a timid pup. If he's fool enough to take a poke at me, I'll snap the finger clean off that does the poking."

Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

"A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly."

Winston S. Churchill

"You speak in ignorant disdain of the foremost nation of the world," Yongxing said, growing angry himself, "like all your country-men, who show no respect for that which is superior, and insult our customs.""For which I might consider myself as owing you some apology, sir, if you yourself had not so often insulted myself and my own country, or shown respect for any customs other than your own," Laurence said."

Naomi Novik, Throne of Jade

"Caro: "Bite me."Ruby: "I gave that up in kindergarten."

Kristin Hannah, Summer Island

"You want me to invite him to dinner.” “I want you to invite him to dinner,” she agreed. “You know,” he said, “most gay men don’t have mothers who are this enthusiastic about their love lives.” “That’s probably true,” she said. “You’re one of the lucky ones."

Matthew Haldeman-Time, Off the Record

"Ranta: Let's just pray that she actually is a tsundere... Though, if she were a tsundere, obviously, the one she'd go dere for is me, you know? That's kind of... not so bad, I guess?Moguzo: O-Obviously, she wouldn't go dere for Ranta, I think...Ranta: Oh, shut up, Moguzo!"

Ao Jyumonji, Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash: Volume 1