Food Quotes
2,538 quotes
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
"I love you like a fat kid loves cake!"
"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."
"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."
"Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods."
"After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
"Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason."
"Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious."
"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."
"Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called."
"There is no love sincerer than the love of food."
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We’re supposed to be exercising."
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
"A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement"
"I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner."
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
"Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant.And it always feels good."
"I am the broth of love. Make soup to me."
"Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries."
"Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise."
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip."
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
"Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat breakfast."
"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."
"Empty packets of hot sauce remind me of the love I used to have for her. Now all I’m left with is this yummy taco."
"My love is pizza shaped. Won’t you have a slice? It’s circular, so there’s enough to go around."
"Let us embrace each other like we have the arms of two chairs. Let us dance like our legs are those of a table. We should do dinner sometime."
"You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway."
"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."
"Nobody peels a banana before stabbing themselves with it. But that’s exactly how I love—dangerously."
"Dinner was a riot, but the food was bland, so I doused it with pepper spray. The chef wanted to protest, but he didn’t, because I had the pepper spray."
"I don’t eat Sloppy Joes. I eat Tidy Josephs."
"I’m a little more reserved in person than people expect. But I warm up quickly, like leftovers. Meatloaf, anyone?"
"If two heads are better than one, then what about double chins? On that note, I will help myself to seconds."
"I had a dream about you. You were storing my brain in a pickle jar in the fridge, and I only discovered it when I went to garnish my hamburger. Mindless and hungry, I was a US politician’s ideal voter."
"A radio in a song in an ice cream cone. Two licks for free, and the third is for sale. My favorite flavor tastes like a commercial, because it’s made with 100% natural advertisement."
"They should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes. You know, for lovers."
"I went to a potluck. I brought my own pot—and luck. The pot was empty, just like my promise to bring food the next time."
"I buried the lasagna, because it was better than disposing of a dead body. I’ve been burned in a relationship, but never in an oven. I’ll try harder."
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."
"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."
"Do you want some fresh tomato soup to go? I’ll put it in a mesh strainer. Oh, if only love were as easy to contain as soup in a strainer."
"I cook. My favorite thing to make is love."
"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."
"Is your Happy Meal full of dancing? Put a box around it and sell it to kids. They could use the exercise."
"I’d rather fake my own fog, than fake a steamy love scene. Can I interest you in some mist? It’s homemade."
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