Clever Quotes
225 quotes
"When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on"
"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."
"I gave her a broken watch, to symbolize that my love for her is forever and timeless. And as an excuse to why I’m always late."
"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"
"Your fantasies define you, so dream carefully. A man with no imagination is a man with no future in today’s world—and no past in tomorrow’s."
"I like to spoon after I fork."
"A stick won’t stick to a wall, so why is it called a stick? Likewise, why aren’t love and ghost the same word? Both are dead and invisible."
"I don’t kind of like to be kind and like you—I love to be kind and love you."
"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."
"When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out that this door needs to be pulled to be opened."
"I can’t use my intellect to figure out how to bypass my intellect. Love lies through the spirit, not the mind, and love never lies."
"I dance so fluid you’d think I’m a fish. I don’t need to drink to be able to dance—I am the drink. Have a sip and find out for yourself."
"You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night."
"Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that’s easier to see than the love my ex wife had for me."
"He rose like heroes, and I rose like rows of red roses. Love grows wherever you plant it, so I try to farm it wherever I go."
"I left a jar in the doorway to leave the door ajar, but love never walked in."
"I deal in the ideal idea. Buy, sell, or trade, I am offering the best prices on Love."
"I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky finger. I could have held up my index finger, but I wasn’t in love that long."
"Only a fool would say they’re not a fool. Well, I am not a fool, which is why I say I am a fool."
"The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him. Of course, I waited until another gunslinger gunned him down, but nevertheless, I still shot him."
"How many seconds does it take to win second? As many as it takes to win first—if you don’t use them properly."
"The word long is short, and so is the word short, but why is the word love as long as long? Shouldn’t it be longer?"
"Be memorable. Say something unforgettable. Be silent."
"Love is a process, either growing or shrinking, but never stagnant. My love for you was David, and now it is Goliath. Also, my love for you was Goliath, and now it is David."
"Her love is more aww than awe, and even if were awesome, I want aweall, not merely some awe. I’m greedy for the amazing."
"I just bought a bag of potato chips. It was a smart buy, because when this world runs out of clean air, I’ll have plenty in that one little purchase."
"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"
"To be heroic is to be courageous enough to die for something; to be inspirational is to be crazy enough to live a little."
"To ugly ducklings everywhere,Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:They'll never get to be swans"
"Take some cues from some Q’s. Quality and quantity lead to queues."
"If I found 20 dollars on the ground, I’d be willing to bet I’d find someone in desperate need of money that I could give it to. And I’d bet 20 dollars, so even after finding and giving away 20 dollars, I’d have made 20 dollars."
"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."
"I had a dream about you. We were standing next to each other, and a stranger asked for the time. My watch said 3:32, and yours said 3:33. I got concerned because somewhere I’d lost a minute, so you and I spent two minutes looking for it."
"What I stand for is what I stand on."
"Using my thumb and middle finger, I tend to make snap decisions. Right away I know whether I like a song or not."
"People won't buy study guides for a dollar, but they will pay 100 dollars for test answers. A #startup should keep this mentality in mind."
"This year I vow to learn how to garden. I will be the Farmer of Love and grow in understanding and forgiveness."
"The aching in my chest isn't because I miss you,it's realizing that you have become someone I no longer know,your fears, your 4 am thoughts, your achievements,are things I no longer have an equivalent to.Who we were and who we are are four different people, and the me from now doesn't relate to the me from then, let alone to the you from now.-Tanzy Sayadi and Jarod Kintz"
"An open Facebook page is simply a psychiatric dry erase board that screams, “Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you’re not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval of God is not all I need."
"We no longer know each other. Hell, I barely know myself these days. I brush my teeth and look in the mirror and think, “Who is this guy taking care of my oral hygiene?"
"I hate when I'm at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, "Paper or plastic?"It's offensive. As if I'm going to sleep with her just because she has a clever pick up line."
"Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much."
"One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke."
"I've come to the point where I never feel the need to stop and evaluate whether or not I am happy. I'm just 'being', and without question, by default, it works."
"There was a time when skepticism was an act of rebellion. Since to a degree I both believe in evolution and have faith, I can only conclude that, as prophesied, to have faith will someday be an act of rebellion."
"The failure mode of clever is “asshole."
"I saw how greatly he suffered the requirement of being clever. It separated him from his soul, and it didn’t get him anything other than a living."
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