Mark Twain
604 quotes
Biography
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by the pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, and essayist. He has been praised as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced", with William Faulkner calling him "the father of American literature".
"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect)."
"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."
"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."
"′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read."
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."
"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."
"A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds."
"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."
"In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them."
"Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms."
"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."
"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."
"But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"
"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
"Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it."
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
"Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever."
"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."
"Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else."
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce."
"The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven."