“Don't do that... By the way, this is not Oprah furniture; you jump on this, and it will be firewood... Oprah's got the real thing, this stuff...this is about as real as that [points to cityscape backdrop] right there.”
“I realized women and humor were linked very closely.”
Craig Ferguson
“I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.”
Craig Ferguson
“He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My s...”
Craig Ferguson
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.”
Craig Ferguson
“Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.”
Craig Ferguson