Dad Quotes
1,092 quotes
"More people are leaving TV behind to read my books than ever before. In the last year alone I gained over two readers (three, to be exact). So I’d like to take a moment and say thanks mom, dad, and kidnap victim I keep chained in the basement."
"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"
"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."
"I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe he was trying to show me the value of camping."
"Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday."
"Most kids start talking by age two. I didn't say a word until I was twelve. I was just angry and defiant I guess. My first word wasn't "Mom"or "Dad."It was "No."
"I’m older now than my dad was when he was my age. Wait, that’s not right. That’s not my dad at all, that’s just some stranger hanging around in my memory."
"Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow."
"I could name my penis Steve, and it would be appropriate, as it is sort of shaped like my dad’s face, whose name is Steve. Not just his face, but his whole body and person is named Steve. And he’s a dick."
"My mum and dad had worked incredibly hard to afford me an education."
"I don't fucking need this, Tom. I don't understand this. You know it hurts us. Are you just Iying or do you believe it? It's gotta stop. Can't have it, mate. Sorry I smacked you, but you hurt me. You don't know how feel. Mummy's all upset... Is it an attention thing. Alice...is that what it is? Sometimes it happens when a baby comes along. You know, it's the facts of life. I'd never put you in a home. I love you, I'd never put..."
"So much of my aesthetic was formed by my dad."
"My dad wanted to name me after Rainier Maria Rilke, the poet."
"My dad was always such a frustrated artist. He always worked very hard to support his family, doing a bunch of ridiculous jobs. He wanted to be a painter, but then he also wrote science-fiction novels in his spare time."
"The founder of the Mona Foundation actually knew my dad for years, and the more I learned about it, the more I realized I really found the perfect charity. It sponsors schools and educational initiatives all over the planet."
"I had bohemian parents in Seattle in the last '60s living in a houseboat. My dad wrote science fiction novels and painted big murals and oil paintings."
"As a father now, I wouldn't do what my dad did, because it left me feeling emotionally unstable as a kid. But he didn't do the things he did out of selfishness or malice."
"I know my dad is a big Internet freak, and he's been known to be a Wikileaker."
"In a school where everyone is famous or rich or whatever, you have a culture, 'What does your dad do?' 'What does your mom do?'"
"I think 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' have definitely staked out their own style and territory, and now the accusations are coming that 'The Simpsons' is taking jokes from 'Family Guy.' And I can tell you, that ain't the case."
"I grew up in the world of bad television, on my dad's sets and then as a young schmuck on dating shows and so on."
"My mum always told me I was precious, while my dad always told me I was worthless. I think that's a good grounding for a balanced life."
"I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll."
"I think it's easiest to teach by example. My dad didn't tell us to work hard we just saw how hard he worked. I know I have shortcomings - like a short fuse - but I've learned you can't come home from a long day of work and snap at the kids."
"I had lost relationships with my dad, my brother and sister and I was just like, you know what, this is definitely the time to just get it together and so that's what I did."
"You know, I'm just - I'm really happy for my dad."
"I had the opportunity to go to law school, and my dad, who was an accountant, couldn't believe I wanted to walk away from that and start cooking."
"Now that I'm a dad, I'm practicing what I call 'one- handed cooking,' because I've got something more important in my other arm. I'm whipping up lots of frittatas and omelets."
"My dad has been married to his wife for 15 years and wherever he goes there better be a seat for her. I like real couples that tell you how to get through on Wednesdays when you're just at the end of your rope - the ones who really know how to make it through. We have to stop looking at Hollywood couples because you're going to get disappointed."
"My sisters have been baptized and my dad is a deacon at his church now. Sadly my mother passed away but what I can say is that the Jehovah Witnesses took very good care of her up until she died."
"My dad worked two jobs and moved us to the suburbs, and just being a black person, I went through a lot of racism and being called names and being bullied every single day. And it was hard. I didn't have any friends."
"My mom grew up in Kansas, my dad in Indiana. They had boring childhoods."
"When I was little, I used to work with my dad on the engine of his car. Mostly this was a matter of me handing him wrenches."
"My dad is kind of a rascal, like in a Dickensian sense. He just goes from career to career."
"My life isn't that dramatic. My dad really loves me, he just can't talk on the phone. He's too crippled and shy, and that's almost harder. He's there and he loves me, and I try and try and try, it's just impossible to have a relationship."
"I don't deal with death very well. My brother, John Candy, my dad, my mom, Brandon Tartikoff just a couple of weeks ago. I mean, you lose a lot of people in your life, and that's one thing I am constantly working on - pain management."
"I don't know if there is a gene for comedy, but my dad was a very funny man. He just didn't know it. He was a naturally funny character, and when my brother and I would laugh at things he said and did, he would say, 'What do you think is so funny?'"
"My dad was in the army so we moved around a lot and I changed schools every year and had to make new friends, and I found that if I was the funny guy I could do that easier."
"I would say the most help I got was from my dad. My dad is a civil engineer in Switzerland he's 90 years old now, so he's no longer active as a civil engineer, but still a very active person."
"My dad has no control over who works with me. Me, me and me alone has to take responsibility for anything."
"Growing up, I had a front row seat to seeing two people work really hard. My dad scrubbed toilets at a private Catholic school for a while, and that was to help me get through school."
"My family was very supportive of whatever I wanted because my grandfather was an opera singer. My dad's dad. So my dad has an appreciation for the arts, and he let me choose my own path."
"I always wanted to be a father. I have a beautiful relationship with my dad and beautiful memories. I always knew I was going to have a family."
"Every family is different. I am mom and I am dad and I'm going to do my best. You should be proud, walk through life saying I have the coolest family. I am part of a modern family."
"My dad served in two wars has been flying airplanes for 60 years now. He was certainly quite an inspiration."
"I remember my dad, who coached football, would buy some of his players football shoes when they couldn't afford it."
"But Dad and I are the only father-and-daughter acts who have both had No. 1 songs in England."
"An angry father is most cruel towards himself."
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