Bacon Quotes
25 quotes
"Francis Bacon has the most delicious last name ever, followed closely by Johnny Scrambledeggs. I make love like those two guys make breakfast out of family reunions."
"Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea."
"the serpent if it wants to become the dragon must eat itself."
"Let me tell you about Hatchet Harry. Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson, who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry's invited Smithy 'round for explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry's lost his rag. Reached out for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a 15-inch black rubber cock. He's then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it. Now, that was seen as a pleasant way to go. Hence, Hatchet Harry is the man you pay if you owe."
"[To Dog holding up a gun] Bend over the fucking desk!"
"Mr Gray didn't care much for Jonesy's body (or so he told himself; in truth it was hard not to feel at least some affection for something capable of providing such unexpected pleasures as 'bacon' and 'murder'), but it did have to take him another couple of hundred miles."
"Most people just want to be left in peace to eat their bacon, not realising that there is no peace behind bacon."
"Doug Larson, the famous runner and 1924 Olympic Gold Medal winner, said it best 'Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
"Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon."
"Niko popped a spare slice of bacon in his mouth, chewing it up contentedly. “I hate being a soul, being dead. You know what I hate most about it?”“No sex?” Sophie guessed.“That’s what I hate second most about it. No, what I hate most is—”“That you can’t lie,” Adrian cut in.Niko lifted his eyebrows at him, impressed. “You do know me. Exactly right.”“And no bacon,” Freya added."
"If the weight comes from bacon you can so deduct it off the scale total to get your true weight. #science"
"It is the custom on the stage in all good, murderous melodramas, to present the tragic and the comic scenes in as regular alternation as the layers of red and white in a side of streaky, well-cured bacon."
"When listening to the lightning storms in your area on a standard AM radio, you will hear a sound like bacon frying and this is the electromagnetic energy that the storm is generating. Plants react to this energy and may show vigorous growth during lightning seasons."
"The adults said the only good food was the bacon, but the kids knew better. They had never had a more fun breakfast in their lives. Although they had to agree the bacon was very good. Then again, it was bacon. It was always good."
"One day, and it may be long off, but one day there will be bacon again. It might be mouse bacon, but that will do for me."
"No bacon for you.""Then no eggs for you. Either of you."Eve glowered at him. "Prisoner exchange?"They glared at each other, then swapped pans and started scooping."
"Are bacon and chocolate the foundation of a good meal? No, everybody knowsthat is a deep fryer and/or gravy. However, I have long held the notion that you can't name a food that I can't improve by adding either bacon or chocolate."
"America, I know we have our problems. I realize that the scale and our waistlineare foremost among them. I’m willing to make concessions, I really am. I drink, and prefer, skim milk. I’ll take water packed tuna over oil packed tuna any day. I can stomach low-fat ranch or I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Anything. I’ll even look the other way on sugar free ice cream (believe me that one hurts), but I’ll be darned if I’m gonna let somebody take my delicious delicious pig fat from me. I’d rather die."
"You worry too much. Eat some bacon...what? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."
"You don't have to say a thing except yes. You don't have to do anything, either, I'm quite willing to plan it all." "You?""Yes me.""You'd plan all of it? Even the wedding?""Why not?""You don't even like to plan your own breakfast."He grinned. "You mean more to me tban bacon.""More than [i]bacon?[/i] I'm honored.""You should be, my foolish pea brain."
"I would just have to find a hog, slaughter it, butcher it, cure the meat, then fry it up. Thinking about the bacon—the potential of bacon—gives me hope. Not all is lost if bacon isn't. Seriously."
"...she has been bewitched by a wicked sorceress, and will not regain her beauty until she is my wife.''Does she say so? Well if you believe that you may drink cold water and think it bacon'."
"Despite my mum being from a small village in the middle of a forest, I'm not a country person. I don't like my bacon sandwich to be curiously snuffling at my fingers. But sometimes being police means holding your breath and fondling a pig."
"Alas, bacon and eggs are not health foods."
"I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon."