“Books, I don't know what you see in them. I can understand a person reading them, but I can't for the life of me see why people have to write them.”

Peter Ustinov

“Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.”

Peter Ustinov

“I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.”

Peter Ustinov

“Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died.”

Peter Ustinov

“I hate being moved. I hate that man who came in. So self-righteous, so cruel. He made fun of me, that's why I cried. You never did that. You led me into temptation by your — politeness.”

Peter Ustinov