“Books, I don't know what you see in them. I can understand a person reading them, but I can't for the life of me see why people have to write them.”

Peter Ustinov

“Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.”

Peter Ustinov

“I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.”

Peter Ustinov

“Politicians only get to the top because they have no qualifications to detain them at the bottom.”

Peter Ustinov

“I hate being moved. I hate that man who came in. So self-righteous, so cruel. He made fun of me, that's why I cried. You never did that. You led me into temptation by your — politeness.”

Peter Ustinov