“One of the things that is his inability to contact him. He's never had a 'phone. And before the days when mobile 'phones were popular you had to 'phone his mam.....”
John Cooper Clarke
More by John Cooper Clarke

“You can count on him. He'll always let you down.”

John Cooper Clarke

“Do not go mental, and with that, goodnight.”

John Cooper Clarke

“Drugs eh! That's the trouble; they're indiscriminate. The good memories go with the fuckin' shit you're tryin' to block out.”

John Cooper Clarke

“Not only do I not have a mobile 'phone, I haven't got a computer. I don't employ any artificial intelligence of any kind. People say to me, "Oh, you should have a computer, they can do this...." I say...”

John Cooper Clarke

“Never leave a bookies with a smile on your face.”

John Cooper Clarke