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QOTDest. 1999
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“Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you're a guy and you pull your pants down, and the girl you're with immediately starts text messaging her friends, you have a small penis.”
Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler

More by Chelsea Handler

“Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.”

Chelsea Handler

“There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.”

Chelsea Handler

“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”

Chelsea Handler

“Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned af...”

Chelsea Handler

“My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her th...”

Chelsea Handler

Books
I'll Have What She's HavingI'll Have What She's HavingLies That Chelsea Handler Told MeLies That Chelsea Handler Told MeUganda Be Kidding MeUganda Be Kidding MeMy Horizontal LifeMy Horizontal LifeChelsea Chelsea Bang BangChelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
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