“How ironic the difference between me and my young son Absalom, between his soliciting the soundest means of overtaking me and having my life, while I was cudgeling my brains for a way to spare his. "Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom," were my mawkish words to my commanders as their men trooped past me toward the positions they would take up in the field outside the wood of Ephraim for the battle in which he would die. "Beware that none touch the young man Absalom," I urged like a fool. No, not like a fool, but like a fond, doting father who will overlook and excuse everything in the child he loves best, and who breaks his heart. And in that singular disparity in our desires abides his lasting victory over me: I loved him and he did not love me.”
“He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.”
Joseph Heller
“Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.”
Joseph Heller
“Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.”
Joseph Heller
“I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.”
Joseph Heller
“Every writer I know has trouble writing.”
Joseph Heller