“How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?”
“He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.”
Joseph Heller
“Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.”
Joseph Heller
“Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.”
Joseph Heller
“I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.”
Joseph Heller
“Every writer I know has trouble writing.”
Joseph Heller