Wilson Mizner
36 quotes
Biography
Wilson Mizner was an American playwright, raconteur, and entrepreneur. His best-known plays are The Deep Purple, produced in 1910, and The Greyhound, produced in 1911.
"Art is science made clear."
"Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest."
"When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research."
"Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore."
"Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education."
"Be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet them on the way down."
"Harry Thaw shot the wrong architect."
"To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady."
"...a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottom boat."
"It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner."
"The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more."
"Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy."
"Tell 'em to count to ten over him and he'll get up."
"I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets."
"You can't be a rascal for 40 years and then cop a plea the last minute. God keeps better books than that."
"Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother."
"America's most fascinating outlaw."
"All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long."
"Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up."
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."
"Failure has gone to his head."
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."
"God help those who do not help themselves."
"The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears."
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."