Virginia Satir
14 quotes
Biography
Virginia Satir was an American author, clinical social worker and psychotherapist, recognized for her approach to family therapy. Her pioneering work in the field of family reconstruction therapy honored her with the title "Mother of Family Therapy".
"We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth."
"I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other."
"Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."
"A growing body of clinical observation has pointed to the conclusion that the family therapy must be oriented to the family as a whole."
"I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen, heard, understood and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand and touch another person. When this is done, I feel contact has been made."
"I have often thought had there been somebody like me around, something might have been able to be done. I also think I don't see how I could have done what I've done in the world had I been married. And when I decided-because I've been on the verge of marriage many times-I said no, because if I wanted to roam the globe like I did, it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to the people. At the point, I really feel it was a kind of destiny because I've been able to get to places. There are some people in the world who have other jobs to do."
"Life is not what it's supposed to be. It's what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."
"What lingers from the parent's individual past, unresolved or incomplete, often becomes part of her or his irrational parenting."
"Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don't realize what messages they are sending."
"Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves."
"So much is asked of parents, and so little is given."
"We can learn something new anytime we believe we can."
"Problems are not the problem coping is the problem."
"Once a human being has arrived on this earth communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world about him."