Todd Barry
12 quotes
Biography
"I tour the South, though, I do. I love touring the South. Some people up North are afraid of the South, it's weird. I'll do a show in, like, Alabama. I'll tell someone I did a show in Alabama and they'll be like, "Oh my God! What was that like?" Oh, you know, chairs, a microphone. Oh, I'm sorry, I know what you're looking for. I'll tell you what it was like. Well, I flew into Birmingham. The Imperial Wizard from the Klan picked me up at the airport. Rode to the club on the back of an old mule. Tried to get a joke out over the shouts of "jewboy go home." At the end of the night I go "Where's my check?" They go, "You're not gettin' a check. You're gettin' this bag of porkrinds." Is that the answer you were looking for, you narrow-minded fake-liberal fuck?"
"I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase."
"It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special."
"I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone."
"I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up."
"I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things."
"I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it."
"I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable."
"I've never been a TV junkie. I remember watching Letterman way back when he had a morning show."
"I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport."
"I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport."
"I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable."