The Joker
129 quotes
Biography
""If the police expect to play against the Joker, they'd better be prepared to be dealt from the bottom of the deck!" - Batman #1"
"(to Judge Drake) "You can't win anyway... You see, I hold the winning card!" - Batman #1"
""I won't even waste the usual Joker Venom on you, Brute, but give you something you can understand...lead! - Batman #1"
""Very neat! That ugly head of yours does have a brain!" - Batman #1"
""I'm not mad at all. I'm just differently sane." - Batman and Robin #13"
"(to Superman) "More powerful than a locomotive, and just about as subtle." - Superman/Batman: World's Finest"
""One by One, they'll hear my call. Then this wicked town, will follow my fall." - Batman: The Man Who Laughs"
""In my dream, the world had suffered a terrible disaster. A black haze shut out the sun, and the darkness was alive with the moans and screams of wounded people. Suddenly, a small light glowed. A candle flickered into life, symbol of hope for millions. A single tiny candle, shining in the ugly dark. I laughed and blew it out." - Shadow of the Bat #37"
""It's a clear choice -- me or Pettit. Vote or die. Cancer or tuberculosis." - Detective Comics #737"
""If I weren't crazy, I'd be insane!" - Batman: Dark Detective"
""They could put me in a helicopter and fly me up into the air and line up the bodies head to toe on the ground in delightful geometric patterns like an endless June Taylor dance routine — and it would never be enough. No, I don’t keep count. But you do. And I love you for it." - Batman: The Dark Knight Returns"
""You dirty rat! You killed my brother! My sister! My daughter! She's my sister and my daughter!" - Batman: Dark Victory"
"(to Batman) "Quick question: When the clock strikes twelve, do I get a little kiss?" - Batman: The Long Halloween"
""Every clown loves kids, captain. Just ask Sarah Essen-Gordon. Oh, that's right, you can't!" - Gotham Central #15"
"(As Nightwing pummels him) "Aw... Jeez... I hit Jason a lot harder than that. (Pause) His name was Jason, right?" - Joker: Last Laugh #6"
""Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants. I come before you, to stand before you, to tell you a story I know nothing about. One morning in the middle of the night two dead fellows stood up to fight. They stood back to back, facing each other, drew their swords and shot each other. If you don't believe my lie, it's true, ask the blind lady on the corner, she saw it too." - Emperor Joker"
"(To Harley as he turns her into a Constellation) "You get the best seat in the house for Armageddon. Say goodnight, Harley. I always wanted to see my dame in lights. Heh. Even in a moment of abject saccharine, I still got it." - Emperor Joker"
""I did it! I finally killed Batman! In front of a bunch of vulnerable, disabled, kids!!!! Now get me Santa Claus!" - Batman #655"
""Obvious...And everybody knows. You wear your shame like a badge, because you don't have the balls to actually pin one on.... Yes... Just look at you... Desperate to be feared, you want to be perceived as a monster, draped in black... And yet... You leave that little window... A glimpse at the perfection underneath. OBVIOUS; The chiseled jaw, the mouth of a monster... Why do you let it be seen? Tell me why...... - Joker"
""A bit of advice...don't ever apologize to no one for the way you look" - Joker"
""I am the Champion of the WORLD!"- Elseworlds: Batman/Lobo"
""Laugh, clown, laugh...and laugh again! The police are completely at bay! Batman is baying at the moon! No one can beat the Joker! Soon, now...soon they'll see it my way! They'll know I mean what I say! Today, the American fish... and tomorrow all the fish in the world! But...what if everybody stops eating fish? I hadn't thought of that! What if they all conspire against me...leave my Joker-Fish in the sea? But no...that would never work! The VEGETARIANS wouldn't go along! And anyway...I could use my chemicals on cattle! JOKER-BURGERS! OUTRAGEOUS! - Detective Comics #476"
""Howdy, Stan, the Donutz man! This is a stickup, see? (holds two donuts up to his eyes like a mask) - Laughter After Midnight"
""Here's the cold, hard truth Bats...I don't hate you 'cause I'm crazy...I'm crazy 'cause I hate you. " - Batman: Cacophony"
"Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man. Physically unremarkable, it instead possesses a deformed set of values. Notice the hideously bloated sense of humanity's importance. Also note the club-footed social conscience and the withered optimism. It's certainly not for the squeamish, is it? Most repulsive of all, are its frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them... they snap. How does it live, I hear you ask? How does this poor pathetic specimen survive in today's harsh and irrational environment? I'm afraid the sad answer is, "Not very well." Faced with the inescapable fact that human existence is mad, random, and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! Who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this... any other response would be crazy!"