Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Oh, thank goodness you're here! I spied a shiny tuppence down this here runoff but more fool me, my arm has become trap-ped. Perhaps you might see about sourcing some lubrication, that I might slip free? I need something greasy to slip me out of here!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Rightio chaps, ready for one last tug tugaroo? Grab ahold of my for'arm. On my mark... three, two, one... Heave! Ho!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"What's this! 'Twas nary a tuppence! 'Twas a threepence! Pray tell, young threepence, where best to spend ye? What ho, what luck, a wishing well! Godspeed, young threepence!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Do I smell quail? Oh I see, twas but a tomato! Hoo hoo, more fool me. 30-love, Herbert, 30-love!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Just the man I need. The Mayor's asked me to clean up this little rose garden. You can start by getting on that mower! Don't be shy lad, give that lawnmower the old and grab and squeeze just like in the Navy."

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Nice firm grip on that mower, lad. I tell you, Reggie's wife could learn a thing or two."

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Ooh thank goodness you're here! I've been sucking this pipe all morning and I haven't got a drop out of it. Little Tomantha here has nearly crusted over, we need to dampen that topsoil pronto!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"[reads Gardening for Plonkers] Crikey, look at the size of this lad's marrow. Says here that tomatoes are a fruit?!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Hang on a wee minute! Where's my blinking spanner? Oh, don't tell me it's been pinched again? It'll be that senile old fishmonger Bish down at the market. You better get down there and find it or it'll be cold chips till the cows come home!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Hey, cracking work reclaiming my spanner from that despicable fishmonger. Unfortunately, I've noticed my screwdriver's gone missing too! It's probably that daft lassie, Kerri, down at Price Shaggers!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Right away you go, laddie! I cannae get into this thing without my trusty screwdriver! What the devil are you still doing here, boy! I need that screwdriver quick sticks!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"I cannae believe the cheek of that wee boy! I dread to think the trouble he was up to with this old thing. Anyway lad, I think I've almost cracked her open. Take a look inside, won't you, see if you cannae flush all this muck oot!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Thank goodness you're here, lad! This stall's a reyt mess! Give us a hand setting it up, won't you? I'd do it meself but me gout's playin' up."

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Cracking work, lad! The stall's never looked better!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"I'm Brigadier Bean Tin, hear my breath! Bring me beans or bring me death!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"I'm Brigadier Bean Tin, hear my plea! I summon my six Gulls back to me! [blows baked bean tin like a conch] That didn't work. Go find them!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"What 'ave we here then! A toad in the 'ole! Don't worry little fella, I'll pop you down the apples and pears in a jiffy!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Here 'e is again! Ready for another bit of fiddlesticks, are ya? Watch your knees!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Hokey Cokey Guvna! Keep your rhubarb folded on the way down!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Riddle me that, pickle me this, hold on to my brush I'm about to piss!"

Thank Goodness You're Here!

"Here's some wisdom for you. Never give an owl a towel."

Thank Goodness You're Here!