Spike Milligan
41 quotes
Biography
Terence Alan "Spike" Milligan was an Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet, playwright and actor. The son of an English mother and Irish father, he was born in British India, where he spent his childhood before relocating in 1931 to England, where he lived and worked for the majority of his life.
"For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string."
"Are you going to come along quietly, or am I going to have to use ear plugs?"
"Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion."
"Policemen are numbered in case they get lost."
"A lot of learning can be a little thing."
"I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine."
"If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it."
"On the Ning Nang Nong When the cows go bong!"
"God made night But Man made darkness."
"Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite."
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
"My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic."
"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven."
"I can speak Esperanto like a native."
"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."
"I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge."
"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
"Money can't buy friends but you can get a better class of enemy."
"Money can't buy friends but you can get a better class of enemy."
"Money can't buy friends but you can get a better class of enemy."
"(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill"."
"Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death."
"Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?"
"A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush"