Sharon Salzberg, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
208 quotes
"To truly love ourselves, we must challenge our beliefs that we need to be different or better."
"As soon as we ask whether or not a story is true in the present moment, we empower ourselves to re-frame it."
"Maybe what we really need is to change our relationship to what is, to see who we are with the strength of a generous spirit & a wise heart."
"Real Love may run on a lower voltage, but it’s also more grounded & sustainable."
"Until we begin to question our basic assumptions about ourselves and view them as fluid, not fixed, it’s easy to repeat established patterns and, out of habit, reenact old stories that limit our ability to live and love ourselves with an open heart."
"Living in a story of a limited self—to any degree—is not love."
"Cultivating loving kindness for ourselves is the foundation of real love for our friends and family, for new people we encounter in our daily lives, for all beings and for life itself."
"When we experience inner impoverishment, love for another too easily becomes hunger: for reassurance, for acclaim, for affirmation of our worth."
"Love is a living capacity within us that is always present, even when we don’t sense it."
"Sanskrit has different words to describe love for a brother or sister, love for a teacher, love for a partner, love for one’s friends, love of nature, and so on. English has only one word, which leads to never-ending confusion."
"When our focus is on seeking, perfecting, or clinging to romance, the charge is often generated by instability, rather than by an authentic connection with another person."
"From our first breath to our last, we’re presented again and again with the opportunity to experience deep, lasting, and trans-formative connection with other beings: to love them and be loved by them; to show them our true natures and to recognize theirs."
"Buddhist teachings discourage us from clinging and grasping to those we hold dear, and from trying to control the people or the relationship. What’s more, we’re encouraged to accept the impermanence of all things: the flower that blooms today will be gone tomorrow, the objects we possess will break or fade or lose their utility, our relationships will change, life will end."
"Whatever language we use use to describe healthy relationships, when we’re in them, we feel nourished by them, in body as well as mind."
"When we constantly hear that we should be smarter, better connected, more productive, wealthier—it takes real courage to claim the time and space to follow the currents of our talents, our aspirations, and our hearts, which may lead in a very different direction."
"The idea that traumatic residues—or unresolved stories—can be inherited is groundbreaking."
"The unconscious mind is a vast repository of experiences and associations that sorts things out much faster than the slow-moving conscious mind."
"Smiling at someone can have significant health consequences."
"Seeking happiness is not the problem. The problem is that we often do not know where and how to find genuine happiness and so make the mistakes that cause suffering for ourselves & others."
"When you recognize and reflect on even one good thing about yourself, you are building a bridge to a place of kindness and caring."
"Never feel ashamed of your longing for happiness."
"Clinging to our ideas of perfection isolates us from life and is a barrier."
"For any marginalized group to change the story that society tells about them takes courage and perseverance."
"The practice of sympathetic joy is rooted in inner development. It’s not a matter of learning techniques to “make friends and influence people.” Instead, we build the foundations of our own happiness. When our own cup is full, we more easily share it with others."
"Sometimes people in abusive situations think they’re responsible for the other person’s happiness or that they’re going to fix them and make them feel better. The practice of equanimity teaches that it’s not all up to you to make someone else happy."