Scott Dikkers
3 quotes
Biography
Scott Dikkers is an American comedy writer and entrepreneur. As a former co-owner of The Onion, he was the publication's longest-serving editor-in-chief, holding the position from 1988–1999 and again from 2005–2008.
"Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious."
"Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God."
"A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends."