"People who complain about something that they cannot do anything about are as irritating as those who complain about something that they can do something about."
"To increase the odds of being thanked, some people compliment some people; some make kids."
"Technology has transformed the world into a global village. And communities, families, friends, etc., into local islands."
"12% of dreams create jobs. 88% of jobs destroy dreams."
"A paedophile is someone whose sexual attraction towards children their own age did not grow with them."
"For the most expensive way to realize an orgasm, men open their wallets. For the cheapest, they close their eyes."
"One-night stands were invented to free men from worrying about the size of their penis. And to free women from worrying about the size of their stretch marks."
"The present is an eternal attempt to separate the past from the future."
"A belief is an uneducated guess."
"Intelligence is a way of thinking, not a choice of words."
"Faeces by any other name would smell as gross"
"Most women have low standards. All they strive for is a highly paid man."
"If life really begins at forty, then all poor people die in their teens."
"A social critic is someone whose work revolves around where and how our successes are failing us."
"Distinctive facial features of a parent are poor people’s paternity test."
"Using money in one’s attempt to put an end to poverty is like using a border in one’s attempt to put an end to xenophobia."
"Rich people read their bills. Poor people dread theirs."
"Every artist takes their final work to the grave."
"Being a philosopher requires a lot of thinking and no action. Being a model requires a lot of action and no thinking."
"In a materialistic society, an employed boy is older than an unemployed man."
"Culture, religion, and education, are conspiracies to standardize worldviews."
"You can only manage to convince a person to admit to being wrong, not ignorant, arrogant, or stupid."
"Not every person that speaks less than you do is more ignorant than you are."
"Thanks to his salary, an employee is free to eat whatever, wherever. However, because of his job, he is not free to eat whenever."
"Work is a vehicle with which man chases some fleeting destination called a full tummy."