Neil Simon
19 quotes
Biography
"Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage…Like two out of every ten couples."
"And so she lived ... hopefully ... ever after."
"Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money."
"You're welcome to take a bath. You look like the second week of the garbage strike."
"If I had to make one comparison, I'd say that when it's five below in New York, it's 78 in Los Angeles, and when it's 110 in New York, it's 78 in Los Angeles; but there are 2,000,000 interesting people in New York–and only 78 in Los Angeles. There may be a hell of a lot more, but it's hard to find them."
"People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?"
"Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life."
"A writer without confidence is like a metaphor without something to compare itself to."
"If you can go through life without ever experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet. And if you've gone through pain and think you know exactly why, you haven't examined all the options."
"Neil Simon strikes me less as the new Moliere than as a rattier Rattigan."
"You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy."
"Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples."
"Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count."
"Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending."
"I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far."
"When its 100 degrees in New York, it's 72 in Los Angeles. When its 30 degrees in New York, in Los Angeles it's still 72. However, there are 6 million interesting people in New York, and only 72 in Los Angeles."
"If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor."
"Goldie Hawn is funny sexy beautiful talented intelligent warm and consistently sunny. Other than that she doesn't impress me at all."
"There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling."