Nathaniel Branden
40 quotes
Biography
Nathaniel Branden was a Canadian–American psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem. A former associate and romantic partner of Ayn Rand, Branden also played a prominent role in the 1960s in promoting Rand's philosophy, Objectivism.
"One of the mistakes that Rand makes is that after she condemns a belief or an action, she goes on to tell you the psychology of the person who did it, as if she knows. I focus my judgment on the action and not on the person. My primary interest is: do I admire or dislike this behavior? And there, judgment is important for me. People often attribute all kinds of things to another person, without ever knowing where that person’s coming from. Most of the time, I regard the judgment of people as a waste of time. I regard the judgment of behavior as imperative."
"Rand always says, “Never pass up an opportunity to pass moral judgment.” Well I say: “Look for an opportunity to do something more useful instead.” Nobody was led to virtue by being told he was a scoundrel."
"Man's need of self-esteem entails the need for a sense of control over reality – but no control is possible in a universe which, by one's own concession, contains the supernatural, the miraculous and the causeless, a universe in which one is at the mercy of ghosts and demons, in which one must deal, not with the unknown, but with the unknowable; no control is possible if man proposes, but a ghost disposes; no control is possible if the universe is a haunted house."
"It would be hard to name a more certain sign of poor self-esteem than the need to perceive some other group as inferior."
"Pride is the emotional reward of achievement. It is not a vice to be overcome but a virtue to be attained."
"The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance."
"Productive achievement is a consequence and an expression of health and self-esteem, not its cause."
"In a world in which the total of human knowledge is doubling about every ten years, our security can rest only on our ability to learn."
"There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity."
"Live with integrity, respect the rights of other people, and follow your own bliss."
"Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves."
"All positive interactions with other human beings involve, to some degree, the experience of visibility-- that is, the experience of being seen and understood."
"Self-discipline is the ability to organize your behavior over time in the service of specific goals."
"The challenge for people today--and it is not and easy one--is to maintain high personal standards even while feeling that one is living in a moral sewer."
"We are parts of one universe, true enough. We stand within an almost infinite network of relationships. Yet each of us is a single point of consciousness, a unique event, a private, unrepeatable world. This is the essence of our aloneness."
"Integrity is congruence between what you know, what you profess, and what you do."
"It is naive to think that self-assertiveness is easy. To live self-assertively--which means to live authentically--is an act of high courage. That is why so many people spend the better part of their lives in hiding--from others and also from themselves."
"It is painful to face the self we know we have never had the integrity to honor and assert."
"One of the hardest expressions of self-assertiveness is challenging your limiting beliefs."
"It is a mistake to look at someone who is self assertive and say, "It's easy for her, she has good self-esteem." One of the ways you build self-esteem is by being self-assertive when it is not easy to do so. There are always times when self-assertiveness requires courage, no matter how high your self-esteem."
"The opposite of self-assertiveness is self-abnegation--abandoning or submerging your personal values, judgment, and interests. Some people tell themselves this is a virtue. It is a "virtue" that corrodes self-esteem."
"Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves--their convictions and their aspirations--every day. There is nothing noble about it. It takes far more courage to fight for your values than to relinquish them."
"If you choose not to live self-responsibly, you count on others to make up your default. No one abjures self-responsibility on a desert island."
"A bully hides his fears with fake bravado. That is the opposite of self-assertiveness."
"Suffering is just about the easiest of all human activities; being happy is just about the hardest. And happiness requires, not surrender to guilt, but emancipation from guilt."