Milton Berle
15 quotes
Biography
"All I can say is at 82, if I had it to live over again, I'd live it the same, sweet — or not so sweet — way. At 82, I feel like a 20-year-old. But unfortunately, there's never one around."
"I think that anyone who is full of life loves repetition. For example, a child. You put a child on your knee and tell the child a story, the child will say, "Do it again." You blow smoke through your nose or through your ears, and the child will say, "Do it again." And God is full of life, and every morning He says to the sun, "Do it again," and every evening He says to the moon and stars, "Do it again," and every time a child is born into the world, He asks for a divine encore and says, "Do it again." And, Milton, for sixty years you've entertained us, and you've made us laugh, and we say to you, "Milton, do it again.""
"Fulton J. Sheen, October 13, 1973, addressing a banquet commemorating Berle's 60th year in show business; as quoted in Milton Berle: An Autobiography (1974), p. 325"
"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."
"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."
"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient"
"I can't tell you his age but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome."
"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight."
"Committee: A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."
"I'd like to tell you some jokes now but you'd only laugh."
"Sex at eighty-four is terrific especially the one in the winter."
"There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer."