"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three."
"You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job."
"The modern child will answer you back before you've said anything."
"The modern child will answer you back before you've said anything."
"The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure."
"A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know."
"An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it."
"Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices."
"The only problems money can solve are money problems."
"Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable."
"No committee could ever come up with anything as revolutionary as a camel -- anything as practical and as perfectly designed to perform effectively under such difficult conditions."
"Bore: A person who lights up a room by simply leaving it."
"Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status."
"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three."
"The advantage of modern means of communication is they enable you to worry about things in all of the world."
"An optimist expects his dreams to come true; a pessimist expects his nightmares to."
"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today."
"Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away."
"Two can live as cheaply as one - if they both have good jobs."
"Humility is the embarrassment you feel when you tell people how wonderful you are."
"Man lives by praise; most of us would rather be hurt by flattery than helped by criticism."
"Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it."
"Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame."
"If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice."
"A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out."