Kevin James
18 quotes
Biography
"I'm not a gay man, but I will say this: I get it now. I know what all the hype is about."
"How big are muffins going to get before we all join hands across America? Have you seen them? They're huge. You walk in, "Yeah, I'll take a coffee and... Oh my God! Yeah, I'll take the bean bag chair with raisins. Wooh! Yeah! Alright, can't believe this is fat-free! Hey, you wanna help me out to the trunk of my car? No, leave the Saran Wrap on it I'll use it to cover my pool, this is good.""
"When you're big you don't need a reason to sweat. You don't, right? My friends cannot grab a hold of this concept. They come up to me all the time like "Jeez! What have you been doing? What are ya jumpin rope in the attic?!" "Well, I peeled an orange.. about an hour ago. Why, what's up?""
"This annoyed me: I was on the phone with somebody today tryin to get a phone number from that person and write it down, but they didn't have phone number rhythm and that pissed me off. You know what I'm talkin about? Phone number rhythm. Especially if there's like an area code involved, like 'two one two - bum bum buh - bum buh bum buh!' That is the rhythm I think we're all familiar with. This guy had no clue! I was like "Okay, Hank. Gimme the number." He's like "Alright. It's two one two nine - fifteen eight eleven six [mumbling incoherently] fou.. tw.. five.. eight.. seven.. two." "Did you throw in your zip code? Cause I got a lot of extra numbers over here. I have extra. I can almost start a new number! What do ya got?! Start again from the top!" They really screw you up on the last four numbers. That's where they get ya. "Five five five - six.. teen forty one" "Dude, I already wrote the six! I made the dash too close, I can't shimmy the one in there now! Forget you!""
"It's always cool to meet people who can do things that you have no capacity to do."
"As American as an apple is and as American as baseball is, they don't go together. You can't be chewing an apple at a baseball game. You've got to let go of the diet that day."
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
"For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere."
"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants."
"Teachers have a chance to mold someone, inspire them. I hope all teachers realize that."
"For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere."
"I want to do movies that I'm proud of where my kids, at some point, can see and I can feel comfortable sitting there watching it with them. And just that move people. That make people feel a little bit better about themselves when they leave the theatre."
"I had many teachers that were great, positive role models and taught me to be a good person and stand up and be a good man. A lot of the principals they taught me still affect how I act sometimes and it's 30 years later."
"I just want to put some positive stuff out there. If it works, great. If it doesn't, no problem."
"Just me onstage with a mike having an intimate relationship with the audience. I don't get nervous for that. I just get excited."
"I had my boy in Boston on Easter Sunday. That kills me, from a sports perspective. He's a Boston baby and I'm a New York guy."
"I had my boy in Boston on Easter Sunday. That kills me, from a sports perspective. He's a Boston baby and I'm a New York guy."
"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants."