Judith Martin
19 quotes
Biography
Judith Martin, better known by the pen name Miss Manners, is an American columnist, author, and etiquette authority.
"Civilized life begins with a boiled egg sitting upright in an egg cup."
"Miss Manners doubts that there is anything in the world like an elegantly dressed Bostonian lurching across the room and diving face first into a bowl of guacamole dip while simultaneously disengaging her bodice from her bosom. Therefore, Miss Manners has a wee bit of trouble preparing a general rule for dealing with this eventuality."
"If you put together all the ingredients that naturally attract children - sex, violence, revenge, spectacle and vigorous noise - what you have is grand opera."
"In a fit of exasperation, Miss Manners once demanded of a six-year-old person how it could be so childish and was forced to admit the justice of its reply, “I'm a child.""
"Traditionally, a luncheon is a lunch that takes an eon."
"Machines do not have feelings... This is not to say that no inanimate objects have feelings -- toys are loaded with feelings, for instance, and only a monster would break the heart of a rag doll."
"Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children."
"Many people mistakenly think a new technology cancels out an old one."
"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help."
"There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted."
"If you can't be kind, at least be vague."
"When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable."
"We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society."
"The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way."
"A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying "Do we have to ask them?" to people whose first response is "How much do you think we have to spend on them?""
"When you're in love you put up with things that when you're out of love you cite."
"The simple idea that everyone needs a reasonable amount of challenging work in his or her life and also a personal life complete with noncompetitive leisure has never really taken hold."
"I am a traditionalist, and I'm an innovator. Most of what I do is to weigh change and legislate to the best of my ability on what should change and what should not. Do I have a respect for tradition? Of course I do. Do I have a blind belief in it? No."
"Freedom without rules doesn't work. And communities do not work unless they are regulated by etiquette."