"You just gotta tell her, man,’ I said. ‘You just gotta say, “Angela, I really like you, but there’s something you need to know: when we go to my house and hook up, we’ll be watched by the twenty-four hundred eyes of twelve hundred black Santas."
"What about the rest of your life?"She shrugged. "What about it?""Aren't you worried about, like, forever?""Forever is composed of nows," she says."
"Chuck Parson did not participate in organized sports, because to do so would distract from his larger goal of his life: to one day be convicted of murder"
"Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is actually used to cut diamonds," I added. Radar tapped a locker twice with his fist to show his approval, and then came back with another. "Ben, getting you a date to prom is so hard that the American government believes the problem cannot be solved with diplomacy, but will instead require force."
"But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness"
"Poetry is just so emo." he said. "Oh, the pain. The pain. It always rains. In my soul."
"That’s always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people would want to be around someone because they’re pretty. It’s like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste."
"I'd had nearly four years of experience looking at these clocks, but their sluggishness never ceased to surprise. If I am ever told that I have one day to live, I will head straight to the hallowed halls of Winter Park High School, where a day has been known to last a thousand years."
"I spent the next three hours in classrooms, trying not to look at the clocks over various blackboards, and then looking at the clocks, and then being amazed that only a few minutes had passed since I last looked at the clocks, but their sluggishness never ceased to surprise. If I am ever told that I have one day to live, I will head straight for the hallowed halls of Winter Park High School, where a day has been known to last a thousand years."
"Well," Ben went on,"someone should just tell her to come on home, because she can find the world's largest balls right here in Orlando, Florida. They're located in a special display case known as 'my scrotum.'" Radar laughed, and Ben continued. "I mean seriously. My balls are so big that when you order french fries from McDonald's, you can choose one of four sizes: small, medium,large, and my balls."
"The way I figure it, everyone gets a miracle."
"People say friends don't destroy each otherWhat do they know about friends?"
"There are so many people. It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined."
"The longer I do my job the more I realize that humans lack good mirrors. It's so hard for anyone to show us how we look, and so hard for us to show anyone how we feel."
"Peeing is like a good book in that it is very, very hard to stop once you start."
"Once we got out of Jefferson Park, we rolled down the one window that worked so the world would know we had good taste in music."
"That's always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people would want to be around someone because they're pretty. It's like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste. But I'm not pretty, not close up anyway. Generally, the closer people get to me the less hot they find me."
"She loved so much misteries tha she became one"
"I will play out the string. I will not betray your trust. I will find you."
"Everything looks uglier close up."
"You listen to people so that you can imagine them, and you hear all the terrible and wonderful things people do to themselves and to one another,but in the end the listenin EXPOSES you even more that in exposes the people you're trying to listen to."
"Margo always loved mysteries. And in everything that came afterward, I could never stop thinking that maybe she loved mysteries so much that she became one."
"The gray paint peels off the wall in odd and beautiful patterns, each cracked polygon of paint a snowflake of decay."
"A poem can't do its work if you only read snippets of it."
"We don't suffer from a shortage of metaphors, is what I mean. But you have to be careful which metaphor you choose, because it matters."