James Thurber
95 quotes
Biography
"The nation that complacently and fearfully allows its artists and writers to become suspected rather than respected is no longer regarded as a nation possessed with humor or depth."
"Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost."
"Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility."
"All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why."
"You have made the moon,"The Jester said. "That is the moon."
"All right, have it your way — you heard a seal bark!"
"Le coeur a ses raisons, Mrs. Bence, que la raison ne connait pas."
"Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?"
"I love the idea of there being two sexes, don't you?"
"He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes."
"It's a naïve domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."
"A burden in the bush is worth two on your hands."
"It is better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers."
"Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead."
"Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still asleep and woke her. "There's a unicorn in the garden," he said. "Eating roses." She opened one unfriendly eye and looked at him. "The unicorn is a mythical beast," she said, and turned her back on him. The man walked slowly downstairs and out into the garden. The unicorn was still there; he was now browsing among the tulips."
"Don't count your boobies until they are hatched."
"He who hesitates is sometimes saved."
"Don't get it right, just get it written."
"Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation."
"Love is blind, but desire just doesn't give a good goddam. [sic]"
"A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make any sense."
"All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why."
"Moral: Where most of us end up there is no knowing, but the hellbent get where they are going."
"The pounding of the cylinders increased: ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa."
""To hell with the handkerchief," said Walter Mitty scornfully. He took one last drag on his cigarette and snapped it away. Then, with that faint, fleeting smile playing about his lips, he faced the firing squad; erect and motionless, proud and disdainful, Walter Mitty the Undefeated, inscrutable to the last."