Henny Youngman

18 quotes

"A hooker stopped me on the street and told me 'I'll do anything for $50.' I said, 'Paint my house.'"

Henny Youngman

"A hooker stopped me on the street and told me 'I'll do anything for $50.' I said, 'Paint my house.'"

Henny Youngman

"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."

Henny Youngman

"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."

Henny Youngman

"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."

Henny Youngman

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave upóthey have no holidays."

Henny Youngman

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Henny Youngman

"My wife is a light eater ... as soon as it's light, she starts to eat."

Henny Youngman

"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."

Henny Youngman

"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."

Henny Youngman

"A hooker stopped me on the street and told me 'I'll do anything for $50.' I said, 'Paint my house.'"

Henny Youngman

"A hooker stopped me on the street and told me 'I'll do anything for $50.' I said, 'Paint my house.'"

Henny Youngman

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave upóthey have no holidays."

Henny Youngman

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Henny Youngman

"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."

Henny Youngman

"My wife is a light eater ... as soon as it's light, she starts to eat."

Henny Youngman

"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."

Henny Youngman

"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."

Henny Youngman