Greg Giraldo

6 quotes

Biography

Gregory Carlos Giraldo was an American stand-up comedian, television personality, and lawyer. He is remembered for his appearances on Comedy Central's televised roast specials, and for his work on that network's television shows Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, and the programming block Stand-Up Nation, the last of which he hosted.

Books by Greg Giraldo

Plan Colombia

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Quotes by Greg Giraldo

"There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad."

Greg Giraldo

"Holy shit, Gilbert! You look like you smell like pee."

Greg Giraldo

"What a night! A couple of trolls, a fairy, and a giant all going after a sunken-eyed little monster that's obsessed with jewelery. It's like The Lord of the Rings!"

Greg Giraldo

"Joan, you are one irritating Jew-broad! The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off."

Greg Giraldo

"The reality is I'm not this person with this driving 'get it done' attitude."

Greg Giraldo

"If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues."

Greg Giraldo