Quotes by Greg Giraldo
"There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad."
"Holy shit, Gilbert! You look like you smell like pee."
"What a night! A couple of trolls, a fairy, and a giant all going after a sunken-eyed little monster that's obsessed with jewelery. It's like The Lord of the Rings!"
"Joan, you are one irritating Jew-broad! The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off."
"The reality is I'm not this person with this driving 'get it done' attitude."
"If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues."