George Mikes, How to Be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils

"Q. Why don't the British panic?A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy."

George Mikes, How to Be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils

"When I am alone in the forest at night-time and jump from one tree to another, I often think that life is so strange."

George Mikes, How to Be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils

"Remember: If you go for a walk with a friend in England, don't say a single word for hours; if you go for a walk with your dog, talk to it all the time."

George Mikes, How to Be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils