Garfield and Friends
140 quotes
Biography
""Neither rain, nor snow, nor gloom of night--nor cat with bad disposition--will stay this clown from his appointed rounds." ~Binky"
""Hold still, little spider, while I squash you with the window. Hey, I know it's kinda cruel, but it's part of my job." - Garfield [from the quickie "Spider"]"
""You should never say, 'Things can't possibly get any worse.' Things'll always find a way." ~Garfield"
""That's the mad scientist's assistant, Igor. Mad scientists' assistants are always named Igor. It's, like, a law." ~Garfield"
""...Look what you've found. Do you know what this is, Odie? No, it's not a ball. It's the Klopman Diamond. A priceless gem, as well as a pointless running gag on a popular Saturday morning cartoon series." ~Garfield"
""This will scare the pants off those three or my name isn't June Arburkle!" ~Jon"
""A beautiful woman is interested in Jon and you're asking what's wrong? How long have you been on this show?" ~Garfield, to Odie"
""Kids! Check your TV listings. Make sure this isn't the last episode!" ~Garfield"
""Good morning. Sometimes, on the show, we like to teach you something a little educational. No, no! Don't change the channel! It's not that educational!" ~Garfield"
""You folks have this confused. I'm real, and you're animated." [from Episode 1]"
""I just checked the TV listings; I'm the only thing on right now." [from Episode 2]"
""Smart kids watch this show; other kids change the channel." [from Episode 3]"
""Maybe not as funny as pro wrestling, but a lot more realistic." [from Episode 4]"
""This show is K-rated - no adults unless accompanied by a kid." [from Episode 5]"
""Pay careful attention, everyone; there'll be a quiz later." [from Episode 6]"
""The Garfield Guarantee - no giant robots or annoying little blue people." [from Episode 7]"
""So if someone wants you to change the channel, kids, just say no." [from Episode 8]"
""Don't forget, kids, look both ways before crossing your teacher." [from Episode 9]"
""Hey, Heathcliff! Eat your heart out!" [from Episode 10]"
""Beware of imitations, accept no substitutes. Batteries not included." [from Episode 11]"
""You notice how every week I say something different here?" [from Episodes 12, 43, 61]"
""Hey you, the kid who missed last week's show: You'd better have a good excuse." [from Episodes 13, 46, 48, 63]"
""I suppose you're all wondering why I asked you here today." [from Episodes 14 and 15]"
""And remember, lasagna is an important part of your nutritious breakfast. " [From Episode 15 in syndicated airings only]"
""And just remember what you paid to get in." [from Episodes 16, 17, 40, and 69]"