David Letterman
16 quotes
Biography
"All right, that's pretty much all I got. The only thing I have left to do, for the last time on a television program: Thank you and good night."
"It's interesting about life. You learn things over that you already learned. And then you forget, because you're drawn to the mundane so you can't be sucked into the reality, the drama, and the ugliness that can be provided by life. So, you're drawn toward the mundane."
"Don't confuse cancellation with failure. Although this is also a failure."
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
"There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing."
"I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host."
"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."
"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
"Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed."
"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
"Labour day is a great American holiday that peoplecelebrate by going out and buying products made in China"
"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin."
"Ladies and gentlemen after what I've been through I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front."
"She represents the country Alamonia."
"This guy put the suck in success."