Darynda Jones
44 quotes
Biography
Darynda Jones is an American author of paranormal romance and urban fantasy, known for her Charley Davidson series. Jones has been a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author, and her work has been translated into multiple languages.
"Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt"
"I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja."
"After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much."
"I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity."
"You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt"
"I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels."
"My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me."
"At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated."
"Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes its time, and gets to know everyone personally. —T-SHIRT"
"Want coffee?"I asked, as I headed that way."It's three thirty in the morning.""Okay. Want coffee?"
"I do not,"I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly."
"After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”“You do have that effect on people."
"If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable."
"Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, thatreason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe."
"Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work."
"Writing doesn’t get any easier with time or talent. If writing is easy for you, you’re probably still learning the craft. You haven’t perfected your style or landed upon your “voice.” You haven’t learned to analyze your writing with a critical eye, to rip it apart and figure out why it isn’t doing exactly what you want."
"Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly."
"There is a difference between fresh and weird. You never want to throw your reader out of the story. Keep it fresh but natural."
"I cannot tell you how important fresh, crisp writing is for an aspiring writer. Plot is great. The overall concept is super important. But the writing is what sells your work. It all boils down to the words you choose and the order in which you arrange them."
"Real writers write. Period. No, the muse does not come to visit everyday. She’s a lazy, precocious flirt. You cannot get into the habit of being “in the mood” to write. No writer on Earth is in the mood to write everyday, but the good ones do it anyway. They fight through their fatigue, their stress, their doubt, and they write. They get the words on the page. Period. So stop waiting for your muse. Trust me, she sleeps around."
"Writing is transcendental. It is a form of expression, a form of art that you can take anywhere. That you can do anywhere. It poses the deepest questions in the universe. It generates emotion. It elicits empathy, promotes learning, creates an intellect you simply cannot get from any other medium. For me, it is air."
"Developing your voice takes... time and practice."
"Humor is so subjective, not everyone is going to get what you are peddling. Others will be offended when what you meant no offense whatsoever. Those are the stakes. You have to be able to stand up for yourself and what you’ve written. Comedy pushes limits, makes people uncomfortable, and is a natural reaction to the environment. Otherwise, as I said, it is forced. Let it flow and give your characters permission to cross a line or two, but only if you can take the heat afterward."
"And as your writing evolves, what you need and get from it evolves."
"WHILE writing, just try to have fun with your ms. Enjoy the process, but push on. Always push toward the finish line!"