"My fans have great senses of humor and eat too much chocolate."
"For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship."
"People, generally, suck."
"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."
"Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong."
"There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon."
"Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die."
"She's so small, yet she contains so much evil."
"Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place."
"I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores."
"Science, you don't know, looks like magic."
"Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island."
"Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe."
"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again."
"Routine feeds the illusion of safety..."
"That's the scary thing about hope,"she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith."
"All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?"
"As a teacher of fourth-graders in a public school, where corporal punishement was not allowed, she had years of violence stored up and was, truth be told, sort of enjoying letting it out on Kona, who she felt could have been the poster child for the failure of public education."
"Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit"
"What love is not torment when a man knows not how to love himself? Talk not of drowning, but attaining your heart's desire by action: Put money in thy purse."
"Diogenes carried a bowl with him for years, but one day saw a man drinking from his cupped palm and declared, ‘I have been a fool, burdened all these years by the weight of a bowl when a perfectly good vessel lay at the end of my wrist."
"There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin."
"The Beta Male is seldom the strongest or the fastest, but because he can anticipate danger, he far outnumbers his Alpha Male competition. The world is led by Alpha Males, but the machinery of the world turns on the bearings of the Beta Male."
"As much as I encourage communication with my readers, I don't want reviews from them, simply because I don't need to be hamstrung in the middle of working on something."
"Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter."