Charlie Sheen
42 quotes
Biography
"The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent."
"You either love or you hate. You live in the middle, you get nothing."
"As kids we're not taught how to deal with success; we're taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?"
"We're going to shoot one Polaroid per show. I'm going to sign this before it even develops because I know that once it develops with my signature on it, it's worth a fortune. I'll make this a work of magic warlock art."
"You don't pay prostitutes to come to your house; you pay them to leave."
"I didn't want to have my wife in the movie fucked by Robert Redford. Besides, to show, in the end, that the million dollars didn't mean anything to the guy by having him buy at an auction an elephant, or whatever the fuck it was, for a million bucks? I mean, the millionaire's already fucked your wife, man, keep the fucking cash!"
""The Goddesses"? I don't believe the term is good enough, but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available."
"I'm so tired of pretending my life isn't perfect and bitching and just winning every second."
"I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee."
"I don't have time for these clowns. I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity. They lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then look at me and they say 'I can't process it'. Well no, and you never will. Stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show."
"I got magic and I got poetry in my fingertips."
"Most of the time—and this includes naps—I'm an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air, and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground."
"You borrow my brain for 5 seconds, and just be like "Dude, can't handle it, unplug this bastard", because it fires in a way that is, I don't know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm."
"(on whether he is bipolar.) Wow, what does that mean? … What's the cure? Medicine? Make me like them? Not going to happen. I'm bi-WINNING! I win here and I win there. Now what?"
"I probably took more than anybody could survive. … I was bangin' seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear, GO!. … I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. … Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."
"I blinked and I cured my brain."
"Can't is the cancer of happen."
"It was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them just look like droopy-eyed armless children."
"I expose people to magic, I expose them to something they're never otherwise going to see in their boring normal lives."
"I don't believe in rock bottom. Rock bottom is like a fishing term."
"They were like 'AA this' and I was like 'Bye bye that'"
"Sorry my life is so much more bitchin' than yours. I planned it this way."
"Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber. (The TMZ Show)"
"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total … rock star from Mars, and people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain. (The Today Show)"
"Women are not to be hit. They're to be hugged and caressed."