Bob Newhart
29 quotes
Biography
George Robert Newhart was an American comedian and actor. Newhart was known for his deadpan and stammering delivery style.
"Humor's a weapon if you want to make it one."
"What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor."
"Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history."
"People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail."
"The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place."
"I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that."
"I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an affection for it."
"I think there's a little confusion between humor and 'gross' passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable, because they aren't the same thing."
"I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable."
"[Imagining a telephone conversation between an advertising executive and Abraham Lincoln just before his Gettysburg Address] Hi Abe, sweetheart. How are you, kid? How's Gettysburg? ... Sort of a drag, heh? Well, Abe you know them small Pennsylvania towns, you seen one you seen 'em all. ... Listen Abe, I go the note. What's the problem? ... You're thinking of shaving it off? Abe, don't you see that's part of the image with the shawl and the stovepipe hat and the string tie? ... You don't have the shawl. Where's the shawl? ... You left it in Washington. What are you wearing, Abe? ... A sort of cardigan? Abe, don't you see that doesn't fit with the string tie and the beard> Abe, would you leave the beard on and get the shawl."
"Abe, you got the speech. ... Abe, you haven't changed the speech have you? ... Oh, Abe. What did you ya change the speech for? ... A couple of minor changes? ... I'll bet. All right, what are they? ... You what? You typed it! Abe, how many times have we told you — on the backs of envelopes. ... I understand it’s harder to read that way, but it looks like you wrote it on the train coming down."
"Humor is a very, very important part of our life. It's not just laughing at a joke, it's an attitude toward life. And as the world gets crazier, it's more important to laugh at it. It's a survival technique."
"Funny is funny is funny."
"I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line."
"I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do."
"I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much."
"I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage."
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'."
"This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now."
"There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I'll cry."
"All I can say about life is Oh God enjoy it!"
"I didn't know I was cool, but I was very flattered that some of the younger comedy writers came up to talk to me at the Emmys. I found that gratifying."
"Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, 'Why is that person staring at me?'"
"I remember seeing a movie with Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney where they were husband and wife, and they got in bed, and he had on polka-dot pajamas and she had on striped pajamas, and when they got up the next morning he had on the striped pajamas and she had the polka dot pajamas, and that was considered racy at that time!"
"I am one of the great wasters of time. I have made it an art form. I can get up at 8 o'clock in the morning, be out of the house by 8:30 and back by 5 P.M., and I'll be going all day long and accomplish absolutely nothing. It's an amazing talent."