Bill Watterson
54 quotes
Biography
"Reality continues to ruin my life."
"It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept."
"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."
"You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help."
"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."
"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."
"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."
"You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"
"We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are."
"Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?"
"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."
"When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back."
"I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know."
"CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?HOBBES:I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN:Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God."
"I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends."
"I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations."
"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."
"That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse."
"You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go."
"Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!"
"I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point."
"Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?"
"Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?"
"From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in."