Ben Elton
13 quotes
Biography
Benjamin Charles Elton is a British comedian and writer. He has written and produced for television, radio, films, novels, theatre and musicals, and has performed as a stand-up comedian and on screen.
"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence."
"No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi."
"The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value."
"The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth."
"Lies are as important as truth, for without lies, the truth is worthless."
"Leave a message, don't leave a message. live, die, it's all the same dream."
"Things get shaped straight and thin for reasons of aerodynamics. Missiles and skyscrapers are shaped the way they are on the soundest principles of engineering, not as monuments to the dick. In fact, so is the dick. The dick is shaped like a dick because that is the most efficient shape for a dick to be. That's why it's dick shaped. I mean a dick shaped like a table would cause all sorts of practical spatial problems."
"I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition - and I have never suffered from it."
"If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not then marriages would be truly made in heaven."
"Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them."
"I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous."
"They were the Saturday Club, a secret society of which only the four of them were aware and which none other could join."
"With privilege comes responsibility, you must understand that. People expect us to lead by example and we shall not disappoint them."