Alan Sugar
26 quotes
Biography
"There is a lot of luck in football. Following England is like following Wycombe Wanders or Leyton Orient. You hope for the best and hope you are lucky."
"Pan Am takes good care of you. Marks & Spencer loves you. Securicor cares. I.B.M. says the customer is king. At Amstrad, we want your money!"
"If there was a market in mass-produced portable nuclear weapons, we'd market them, too."
"My history of lending money from banks is that they want to know the ins and outs of the backside of a duck."
"I don’t believe in God and all that. But I am Jewish, and very proud to be so, very proud of the culture."
"I came from an environment where I needed to succeed. There was no wealth or anything like that in the family. Not that we were paupers, but we had to fend for ourselves. Kids today are not as hungry as I was. They don’t understand how tough my generation was."
"If you take care of your character, your reputation will take care of itself."
"Now Matthew, you are an awkward character - I'm sorry to say that to you but you are an awkward character. It seems you can't help yourself...you need confrontation! That worries me, that worries me a lot! (To Matthew Palmer, shortly before his firing)."
"When it comes to bullshit, they [advertising agencies] have forgotten what you haven't already learnt about all this crap! (To Rachel - shortly before her firing, when her supposed expertise in advertising results in the failure of the advertising task)."
"Most of the people I do business with are mature businessmen like me, and they are not going to take kindly to being spoken to like a wash woman in the street!! (to Saira Khan during a boardroom showdown)."
"But I've sat here four times, and there is a message coming from above....not that I am a believer in the Lord or anything.... (Immediately before Jo Cameron's firing)."
"Syed, SHUT UP! (Lord Sugar speaking to Syed Ahmed)."
"But you were in the restaurant business before?? Marco-Pierre White or something....The Titanic – well here's another bloody disaster you're in now! (To Syed before Alexa is fired after the infamous catering task when the Invicta team lose because they bought an excessive number of chickens to make pizzas)."
"I tell you what, if any of you survive here, I promise you this: As sure as I have a hole in my bloody arse, when it gets down to the two of you, all these people who are saying nice things about you at the moment, will not! So start thinking about yourself!"
"Your back's against the wall and you're almost done for – it's Dunkirk all over again! (The Apprentice (To Paul, the ex-army Lieutenant before he is fired.))."
"You were devastated when you got a B in your GCSE French. You're gonna be even more devastated now, because you've got the big F – you're fired! (firing Nicholas de Lacy-Brown in episode 1)."
"OK, because if you're unsure, you can always pull your trousers down and we can check. (On whether or not Michael Sophacles is Jewish)."
"Sian Lloyd – what was she doing there? Why did you cast and pay for a kind of celebrity for your advert? You know, I could understand if your advert was based on weather, I could understand if your advert was based on her being upset because her boyfriend blew her out for a cheeky girl, right and she's crying, but I can't understand this. She's not even a mother, what's the point? (Episode 9)."
"We've got two very despondent gentlemen, we've got Claire, she will get her 500 rounds of bullshit out and stick it in her AK47 and deafen us all in here. (Episode 9)."
"All I've heard from you so far is a lot of hot air, so in the interests of climate change you're fired... (to Stuart Baggs in the boardroom)."
"A message needs to go back. Vincent - you're also fired!"
"My disposals get taken away in the back of a taxi! (referring to the task in week 6, which centred around waste disposal and where Edna eventually fired)."
"I have no patience at all."
"If you lock me in the room with a piano teacher for a year I might be able to knock out a rendition of 'Roll Out The Barrel,' but will I ever be a concert pianist? No."
"We're interested in the mass-merchandising of anything. If there was a market in mass-produced portable nuclear weapons, we'd market them too"