Holden Quotes
10 quotes
"Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's a phony. I could puke every time I hear it."
"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the "Fuck you"signs in the world. It's impossible."
"It's partly true, too, but it isn't all true. People always think something's all true."
"Why in God's name would I wanna keep writing about characters whose central preoccupations are weed and dick and fart jokes? I mean, ya gotta grow, man. Don't you ever want anything more for yourself? [gestures to Silent Bob] I know this poor hapless son of a bitch does. I look into his sorry doe eyes and I just, I see a man crying out. He's crying out "When, Lord? When the fuck can your servant ditch this foulmouthed little chucklehead, to whom I am a constant victim of his folly, so much so that it prevents him from ever getting to kiss a girl! Fuck! When, Lord? When? When's gonna be my time?""
"A Jay and Silent Bob movie? Who would pay to see that? [Holden, Jay, and Silent Bob look out into the audience]"
"It's nights like this, when I miss dating a lesbian..."
"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the "Fuck you" signs in the world. It's impossible."
"He once told Allie and I that if he'd had to shoot anybody, he wouldn't've known which direction to shoot in. He said the Army was practically as full of bastards as the Nazis were."
"If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late?"
"But while I was sitting down, I saw something that drove me crazy. Somebody'd written 'fuck you' on the wall. It drove me damn near crazy. I thought how Phoebe and all the other little kids would see it, and how they'd wonder what the hell it meant, and then finally some dirty kid would tell them— all cockeyed naturally— what it meant, and how they'd all think about it and maybe even worry about it for a couple of days. I kept wanting to kill whoever'd written it."