“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”

Garrison Keillor

“Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.”

Garrison Keillor

“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.”

Garrison Keillor

“When in doubt, look intelligent.”

Garrison Keillor

“The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.”

Garrison Keillor