“As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making jokes about absolutely everything.”

Joan Rivers

“I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.”

Joan Rivers

“There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.”

Joan Rivers

“[Catchphrase:] Can we talk?”

Joan Rivers

“Why do wives have to spend so much time dusting, vacuuming, mopping, making beds, washing dishes, when you just have to do it all again six months later?”

Joan Rivers